I was going to do something a bit different and narrate this end of year review as an audioblog, but it seems my social media presence, Facebook especially, doesn't have an easy way to upload audio files. So here is yet another post year text post.
The year started off well. I went to my first Minamicon in some time and decided to bring the two Gakurans I had commissioned as my two Cosplay outfits for the "School" theme at that Minami. I think it went pretty well. I did run into one of the pitfalls of wearing all dark clothing while standing in direct sunlight. For the most part, the uniform Cosplays turned out to be fairly comfortable. This was also the first time I decided to take photographs via film, specifically 35MM film, alongside my usual use of digital equipment at a major convention event. I never thought I could use film at such an environment, or indeed at all. But it turned out to be very easy as long as you know what you are doing and you have had some experience in taking pictures. Using an old film camera (A Pentax K1000) in anger was a lot of fun and an interesting learning experience. The results that can be produced via black and white film are fascinating and have a truly different and retro look compared to my usual colour digital photography. But don't take my word for it, have a look yourself here.
The lack of a summer con was a major downer and may have been the cause of a bit of an existential crisis I had around the middle of the year. I started questioning who I was as a person and what I am orientation wise. I will not go into too much detail about it here as I don't think it would be appropriate but suffice to say, it was causing me all manner of problems. I also started to feel my photography was partly to blame and it was constraining me personally. I felt I could not be honest about my own emotions. Eventually, I managed to deal with this as best as I can after consulting about my thoughts in private with some friends. I wouldn't consider myself "100%" right now but nearer "90%" than I was back in the summer. It did help that I went to Glasgow Comic Con in the Royal Concert Hall on a whim and caught up with some friends there. The film cameras got another round of use at this event and once again enjoying the retro look created without an Instagram filter.
Unfortunately ran into another setback when while driving to work I was involved in a car accident in the Autumn. I will not go any further into what happened here due to ongoing insurance claim, but long story short it was a case of wrong place, wrong time during the commute to the workplace. This did not help me mentally and it dampened my spirits during MCM Scotland 2019. I felt like I didn't do as much photography as I would've liked. I managed to catch up with more friends but gutted I missed one or two I missed through the duration of the event. Not helped by the fact that the car I was borrowing to get there was a relatives vehicle which is a pain in the arse to drive.
Thankfully the year ended on a high. I attended my third Hibanacon and I really felt like this is was the opportunity to make up for my lacklustre performance photography wise at this event. A lot of my fellow photographers have, for various reasons, decided to take a backseat to concentrate on relaxing or Cosplaying. I, perhaps unintentionally, found myself picking up the "slack", for lack of a better term. Not to say that there is anything wrong with taking it easy or concentrating on other interests at a convention, but I'm just the kind of person who can never "take it easy", at least not completely. I can never shake the feeling that I'm not getting my moneys worth at an event if I'm not running around seeing as much as possible or taking as many pictures as possible. More rolls of film where used including some very high ISO black and white stock and a roll of high ISO colour film that is specifically colour balanced for tungsten lighting. This gave interesting results. Hibana 2019 ended up being the event that made me appreciate photography once more and made me think of my work as not my prison, but my freedom.
Looking forward, global geopolitics have taken a turn for the worse but I'm determined not to let that drag me down completely. There are enough events covering my interests to give me plenty of things to look forward to despite the state of the world.
I would like to thank all my friends for continuing to stick with me through thick and thin. Your support is very much appreciated and I hope you continue to do so for the foreseeable future. Thank you and all the best for 2020!
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