Y U SO SRS?? (AKA: Why the sudden mood whiplash?)

Some may be confused about the recent more serious tone of my first post in a while and wondered why I made it. Well, aside from that certain Overwatch cosplay incident, a discussion between friends that sadly lead to disagreement between them prompted me to try to articulate some of the incidents of racism that I've had to deal with throughout my life. There isn't any particular political view I was trying to push in this instance though. Just thought it might be useful to try to give people an idea of things are like for those of us who are non-white.

Often a lot of the attention regarding ethnic minorities is focused on Asians (In the British sense of the word rather than the American sense i.e. South Asians such as Indians, Pakistanis and Bangladeshis rather than other Asians like Chinese, Koreans and Japanese) or on Black people. There has always been, anecdotally, this feeling in the Chinese community that reporting incidents to the police or other authorities is pointless as either nothing will be done or things will get worse. Also the Chinese have always been less visible in the UK, even as more and more Mainland Chinese appear overseas to study or fill in gaps in industries which have not been able to fill vacancies with local talent. In some ways this is a good thing as it means some of the heat is taken off us compared to other ethnic minorities but when things happen to us, it does get a lot of coverage.

Anyway, I am going to ramble about another topic. Relationships...

This is a bit of a sore point for me for I have been single for all my life. Confidence issues, related to some of the nonsense I've had to deal with in the past, most of it related to some of the racist abuse I've had to endure, has not helped. It is aggravating at times that I'm still "flying solo" after all this time. And yet, at the same time it is liberating in many respects. However I got to say it does get wearing at times, being on my own all the time. At the same time, I'm too lazy to really do anything about it. There have been times where I wonder if I should risk going on the internet dating scene, however at the same time I've read all manner of horror stories, some of them from friends, which put me off. I don't have the confidence to approach people as I am convinced I probably give off an air of desperation.

So ultimately I don't bother. It feels a lot less hassle and it means I don't risk alienating people. At least, not completely drive them away. And at the same time, I like being on my own (sometimes), not worrying over offending another half. It's a bit of a odd conflict going on in my mind. I am not sure how to square the circle with regards to this part of my life.