A few weeks ago, from the time of me starting this blog post, I finally set off on a holiday I had set my eyes on for some time. For two weeks from mid-April I set off for Hong Kong. A place where a large number of my relatives still reside and a place I have not been back to since 2011. I went there expecting to get some relaxation and have some fun. What I did not expect to do was to come back with a renewed sense of my ethnic background, a moment of self-discovery and a better understanding of the kind of sacrifices my grandparents and parents generation made to give me and possibly countless many others of the diaspora I'm part of, the opportunities my grandparents and parents never had.
I know many people when they think of Hong Kong they think of technology, skyscrapers and population density beyond what should be tolerable. There are those things when I went there. Many of my relatives still live in flats that are barely any bigger than most people's bedrooms here. We like to moan about illegal immigrants taking up much needed housing and space but I call bulls**t on that. We here in the United Kingdom do not know the true meaning of "lack of space" and "overcrowding", two words bandied about in the tabloids and broadsheet newspapers like there is no tomorrow. If those middle class Daily Mail reading bourgeois and right wing leaning xenophobic journalists lived in a UK that resembled HK's density, they would go berserk. This is not a city for those with claustrophobia or a fear of mass crowds. And yet I set out there despite at least having one of those fears.
And I didn't just go there to visit the most visited best known attractions. Central District, The Peak, Tsim Sha Tsui (Although I did end up in Central a few times and visited Stanley to walk through the market a bit). I set out to go off the beaten trail and bit and deliberately went out of my way to find some hidden gems. Lesser known attractions and places in Hong Kong that most would not think of visiting or would not find in the guidebooks. I always felt that there was more to Hong Kong than gadgets, shopping and food. There was always the sense that Hong Kong has such a rich culture that if you go beyond scratching the surface you will be rewarded. Having some knowledge of the local lingo this was a plausible prospect.
Boy did my persistence pay off big time!
Last time I went to Hong Kong I visited a perfectly preserved piece of pre-colonial architecture. A traditional Hakka architecture house still standing, surrounded by modern day skyscrapers, in Chai Wan on the north eastern side of Hong Kong island. It felt like I hit the jackpot from a cultural and historical perspective. I ended up doing one better this time round. How does an entire pre-colonial village sound for you? That is what happened when I came across "Sam Tung Uk" in Tsuen Wan, in the western New Territories. It was preserved and turned into a museum showing us modern urbanites what life was like for our predecessors many decades, and possibly centuries ago. I had a good wander around the various exhibits and indulged in the historical side of HK. But for me it really hit home when I entered the current thematic exhibition they had running at the back of the museum. "Tsuen Wan Then & Now: A Kaleidoscope".
At the entrance of the exhibition hall, they played a recording of traditional Hakka Chinese singing from the strained but resolute vocals of some unnamed Hakka lady. And the exhibit tells the story of much hardship, but strong community spirit amongst my precursors. This may sound silly to some of you. Probably many of you. But I couldn't help but feel a bit moved on reading what happened to those in my parents generation as they moved away from traditional farming and tried to find work in the new urban areas springing up all over the place. Although my mother admitted things were not especially hard for her, it was still a life of fairly hard graft at the time. And on reading all these stories and seeing the exhibits at this museum, I could believe her. I also had a better understanding of my own heritage and where I came from.
For a long time, during my time in Secondary school and to a lesser extent Primary school (Elementary and High school for those in US influenced shores), I was bullied a bit. Not as much as some, but when you are growing up and forming your opinions and perspectives on the world, it was enough to damage my self-belief and confidence severely. And for some of that, there were a xenophobic slant to the abuse I received. Some of it even made it's way onto the web. This being at a time where Facebook was but a tiny speck in the imagination of Mr. Zuckerberg and when Twitter hadn't even been invented yet. My racial origins were, for me, a source of great shame and embarrassment and left me unable to figure out what identity I had, culturally and personally. For a long time I found myself caught in that gap between, to use the cliché, East and West. I grew up in very much an Anglo-Saxon nation but my family was from a Sinocentric background. This and a, at times not particularly understanding father, didn't really help matters. It was only until I was in university level education could I finally put those years of turmoil behind me and finally gain a better understanding of who I was as a person as well as my ancestral history.
However, I found this holiday has done more than allow me to relax and recharge. It has given me a cultural and historical education as well. After seeing that exhibition, along with many others to do with Hong Kong's history and culture, I can saw I can better come to terms with my roots and who I am.
I may not be able to completely shake off the self-doubt, but I can at least say I can hold up my head just a little bit higher when it comes to my family roots.
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